


I'd Rather be Black and Blue, Than Accept That You Withdrew

by babyboytroye



Category: Connor Franta - Fandom, tronnor - Fandom, troye sivan - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Cutesy, Fluff, Hurt Troye, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Connor, Violence, but also violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5737792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyboytroye/pseuds/babyboytroye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Troye's boyfriend is abusive and Connor tries to fix what's been broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

"Con con!" Troye shouted happily, throwing his arms around Connor's neck, pulling him into a hug. Connor laughed softly, wrapping his own arms around the thin boy's waist. He burrowed his face into his neck, breathing in his scent. He had missed this kid so, so much. "I've missed you!" Troye whined cutely, gripping on tighter.

 

"I've missed you more." Connor argued, pulling away to look the boy in the eye, only for the air to be ripped right from him. His eyes were as blue as he remembered them. Troye giggled, pulling Connor inside his house. He took his hand and led him to his room. "Where is everyone?" Connor asked, setting his things down onto Troye's bed.

 

"They went to go run some errands." Troye explained as Connor sat on the bed, limbs exhausted from all of the traveling. "They're going to be so happy when they see you." Troye beamed, sitting down next to Connor. He scooted closer until his head was resting on his shoulder, Connor getting a face full of soft hair. Troye looked up at him with those wonderful blue eyes, eyes crinkling as he smiled. "I'm so happy you're here."

 

"I'm happy I'm here too." Connor said, pulling Troye closer as the boy giggled softly. He was like a little ball of sunshine, filling in the holes in Connor's heart that have been missing for quite some time now. If only things could have stayed this way.

 

If only Troye could have stayed happy.


	2. Chapter Two

"Do you see him?" Connor asked excitedly as Tyler stood up on his tip toes to look over the crowd of people.

"No." Tyler groaned, eyes scanning the crowd frantically. "The kid is like ten fucking feet tall, we can't miss him."

Connor sighed and continued to look for the blue eyed beauty, his best friend. The last time he saw him was months ago when he visited Perth. Ever since then they skyped but it was never the same. He wanted to hold him and actually see him, not through a computer screen.

"Ah! There he is!" Tyler screamed, pointing in the direction of the Australian. Connor followed his gaze and his breath was knocked from him.

There he was.

He was as beautiful as he remembered him. Still so tall and so skinny, still with those electric blue eyes. Still with that smile that can turn your stomach into goo. Still the adorable, awkward boy who was loved by everyone.

But something was different.

He was as beautiful as he remembered him, but he looked as if he carried the world on his shoulders. Still so tall and skinny, but what was once healthy looks sickly and painful. Still with those electric blue eyes, but they held this sort of sadness to them. Still with that smile that can turn your stomach into goo, but it was a little forced. He just looked sad.

Connor frowned, but quickly covered it with a smile as Tyler attacked Troye with a giant hug, Troye giggling softly as Tyler kissed his cheek and pulled away. "My twink bottom." Tyler joked, earning a light slap onto his chest from Troye.

Troye looked over at Connor and smiled, eyes soft and tired, but overall relieved. Connor looked him over carefully, eyes full of worry and love. "Are you just going to stand there?" Troye asked in that adorable accent, raising an eyebrow. Connor laughed and wrapped his arms around his waist, noticing how they can almost wrap around him twice. Troye giggled and wrapped his arms around his neck, squeezing lightly. Connor pulled him closer and rocked him side to side, happy to finally have his best friend in his arms again. They pulled away, staring into each others eyes.

"I missed you." Connor said, rubbing Troye's arm softly.

"I missed you too."

Tyler watched them with a huge smile, eyes wide and teasing. "Okaaaaaay, that's enough." He walked between them and took Troye's bag from him. "Time to go home."

×××

They decided that Troye would be staying at Tyler's house since he and Tyler would be filming a collab during his stay. Connor was a little disappointed, because maybe he wanted him all to himself, but they settled on it and he didn't want to come off clingy or possessive. So Tyler drove them there and showed Troye where the guest room was, even though Troye has been in his house many times.

"Tilly, I'm starved." Troye whined, pouting when Tyler mocked him in a failed attempt of his accent. "Someone should order us food."

Troye and Connor looked at each other knowingly. "Not it!" Troye and Connor exclaimed at the same time.

"Fuck you." Tyler said, rolling his eyes and walking out the room.

"I love you." Troye called out, getting the bird in response. Troye giggled and continued to unpack his clothes.

Connor watched him quietly, eyes scanning over his body, taking note of how tired the boy seemed, the shakiness to his movement. Connor frowned and gently grabbed Troye's wrist, spinning him around. He took notice of the little flinch Troye did. He rubbed his hands softly up and down Troye's arms.

"You okay?" Connor asked, eyes looking deeply into Troye's. Troye held his gaze, giving him a convincing smile and laughing.

"Of course I am, Con Con." Troye reassured, flashing his pearly whites. He turned back to his unpacking, sighing when Connor pulled him to sit down next to him on the bed.

Connor searched his eyes, noticing how sad the boy seemed. Those eyes never lied. "Talk to me." Connor pleaded, grabbed Troye's hand. Troye frowned slightly, looking down. He hesitated, but looked back at Connor. He smiled again.

"I'm fine, silly. Just a little tired." He leaned over to peck Connor lightly on the cheek. "I'm happy." Troye lied, getting back up to finish putting his clothes away.

Connor didn't believe him.


	3. Chapter Three

When the pizza finally came, they all settled down in the living room and started to watch Friends. Connor wasn't paying attention to the show though, he was too busy staring at the beautiful boy who was leaning against him. He was quietly chewing on his third slice, eyes engrossed on the TV. Connor looked down at him with a fond smile, heart aching with love for him.

"Jesus, Troye." Tyler joked as Troye reached for his fourth slice. "I didn't think it was possible for your appetite to grow any more." Troye blushed and sat back, hands folding in his lap.

"I'm sorry." Troye said quietly, playing with his thumbs. "I don't know how I'm still hungry."  
Connor frowned at the boy and glared at Tyler, who threw his hands up in defense. Connor rubbed Troye's back softly, and reached to put another slice in Troye's hand. 

"He can eat as much as he wants to." Connor snapped as Troye threw him a small smile. Connor winked and diverted his eyes back to the television as Troye continued to eat quietly.

They continued to watch Friends for another hour until Tyler let out a loud yawn, stretching his limbs as he got up from the couch. "I'm going to bed." He announced, rubbing the back of his head sleepily. "Sweet dreams, ya'll." He softly stroked Troye's head and patted Connor's shoulder.

"Goodnight, Tilly." Troye muttered sleepily, throwing the boy a precious smile.

"Goodnight, Tyler." Connor said, giving the boy a smile as well. Tyler waved and went into his room, shutting the door quietly.

"I should go home." Connor stated while getting up slowly, making Troye whine. Troye grabbed his wrist softly.

"No, Con. Stay." Troye whimpered, lips pouting. Connor laughed and smoothed out his lips with a gentle thumb.

"There's no where for me to sleep." Connor said, crossing his arms.

"You can sleep with me." Troye said happily, as if he came up with the best idea in the world.

"You sure?" Connor asked, trying not to get too excited of the thought of sleeping with the beautiful boy. Troye nodded, getting up and grabbing Connor's hand. He pulled Connor into the room and locked the door. Connor took his pants off along with his shirt as Troye pulled off his pants as well. Connor walked over to the bed and sat on it, already getting comfortable. Troye cowered into the corner of the room, back facing Connor. Connor smirked, shaking his head slightly.

"Why are you hiding?" Connor asked, laughing at the awkward boy. "I've seen you shirtless before."

Troye took off his shirt quickly and covered his body quickly, throwing on his sleep shirt. He turned around and walked over to the bed, giggling quietly. "There's not much to see." He awkwardly stood towering over the bed, looking down at his toes. "Do you mind if I sleep next to the wall?" He asked shyly. "It makes me feel safe."  
Connor's eyes softened, smiling gently. "Of course." He cooed, scooting over and patting the spot next to him. Troye happily got in, burying his body under the covers. Connor settled down as well, arm stretching out to turn off the lamp. He settled on his side, his back facing Troye as he closed his eyes. A couple of seconds passed before he felt movement and a soft hand poke him softly. He opened his eyes and turned around to face the Australian. He was met with round, blue eyes looking back at him.

"Can you hold me?" He asked quietly, as if scared of Connor's response. Connor frowned at the timid boy who never used to be so hesitant. The Troye he knew before would have just took Connor's arm and put it around himself.

"Of course, Tro." The pale boy scooted closer to Connor and buried his face into his neck. Connor gently put his arm around his waist, smiling widely. He tightened his hold, making Troye hiss quietly. He frowned. "Am I hurting you?" Connor asked, quickly loosening his grip and ready to pull away.

Troye quickly held Connor's arms in place, shaking his head. "No. Not at all." His voice wavered slightly, eyes distant and cold. Connor reached a hand up to tilt Troye's face up to look at him. Troye forced a smile, and cuddled closer to Connor. "Just don't hold too tight." Connor nodded his head, gently holding the boy to him.  
He wasn't even holding that tight before.


	4. Chapter Four

Connor woke up the next morning to a face full of soft, brown hair. He smiled softly when he realized it was Troye, burying his nose into the hair gently. He heard Troye whimper cutely, his little sniffles filling Connor's ears.

 

"Good morning, sleepy boy." Connor said softly, getting a groan in response. He rolled his eyes and detached himself from the boy. Troye turned around slowly, facing Connor and opening up those blue eyes. He smiled softly and let out a yawn while snuggling further into the pillows.

"Morning, Connie." Connor laughed at the nickname, making Troye giggle softly with him. They lied there for a couple of minutes in comfortable silence; the only thing that could be heard was their soft breathing.

"I'm going to go freshen up." Troye said softly, sitting up and stretching his body. He lifted his arms above his head, making the shirt rise up slightly. Connor tried to look away, but he couldn't help but sneak a little glance at the pale skin beneath the fabric. He frowned when he was met with blue-green blemishes instead.

"Troye, what the fuck happened to your stomach?" Troye froze, eyes wide and body tense. Connor grabbed him softly and lifted his shirt slightly, gasping at the bruises. The boy shook him off with a laugh.

"Tyde and I were playing around and I hit myself on a table." Troye explained smoothly, making Connor frown. "It looks worse than what it is."

The lies began.

xxx

Connor was sat in the kitchen, hands gripping a coffee mug as he got lost in his thoughts. He couldn't quite shake off the image of the bruises on Troye's stomach. It made him feel uneasy.

"Oh! Good morning, Con." Connor jumped at the sound of Tyler's voice, head whipping around to the man. Connor smiled at him.

"Morning, Tyler." Connor brought the mug back to his lips as the wonderful taste of the coffee filled his mouth. Tyler walked over to the cupboard of his kitchen and poured himself some cereal, leaning against the counter to look at Connor.

"Did you sleep here?" Tyler asked while munching on his cereal.

Connor nodded. "Yeah, I hope you don't mind."

Tyler shook his head and laughed. "No, no! Of course I don't mind." Tyler's attention turned to the door to the kitchen, smiling widely. "Hey!" Connor turned around to look at the beautiful boy, almost cooing at how adorable the boy looked. He was wearing an oversized maroon sweater and light blue skinny jeans with his hair a curly mess, as he rubbed his eyes softly.

"Hi, Ty. Hi, Con." Troye walked over and grabbed the cereal from the counter, pouring himself a bowl. He took a seat next to Connor, taking a bite from his cereal and grinning at the boy. Milk spilt from the sides of his lips, making him blush as Connor and Tyler laughed.

"You're going to dirty my floor." Tyler muttered, finishing his cereal. He put the plate in the sink and turned to the boys with a grin on his face.

"I'm going to go take a shower." Tyler said while walking out, leaving Connor and Troye alone.

"Want some?" Troye asked as he held out a spoon full of milk and cereal. Connor smiled and nodded, letting Troye feed him with the spoon. He chewed on the cereal slowly, staring at the boy carefully. He swallowed, never once taking his eyes off of him.

"Can we talk about earlier?" He asked softly and timidly, taking note of the panic that flashed through Troye's eyes. Troye cleared his throat and nodded, turning his body to face Connor.

"There's not much to talk about." Troye stated, eyes searching Connor's. "But I guess if you must." He rolled his eyes, picking at a loose thread on his sweater.

Connor watched him carefully, taking notice of every nervous move he'd make. "What really happened to your stomach?"

Troye groaned loudly, scratching the back of his head. "I told you. Tyde and I were playing around and he tackled me. I hit my stomach against a doorknob." He shrugged his shoulders. "That's all. It was a silly mistake." He laughed softly and took a hold of Connor's hands, rubbing them with his thumbs. "I promise."

"Okay." Connor finally muttered quietly, gripping Troye's hand tighter. Maybe he was overreacting and looking too into things. He trusted Troye.

"You know how clumsy I can be."


	5. Chapter Five

"Hello?"

"Hi, babe." Troye answered quietly, voice shaking slightly. The voice on the other side of the receiver was aggressive, sending tremors through his body.

"What the fuck do you want?" The voice spat, making Troye let out a quiet sob, curling into himself.

"I just wanted to talk and hear your voice." Troye said quietly.

"You woke me up." I'm happy to hear from you.

"You're fucking worthless." You're my everything.

"I can't stand you." I love you.

They were just words he tries to tell himself. Words with no meaning.

"I miss you."

"No you don't." Troye flinched slightly, brows furrowing. "You're probably spending all of your time over there sucking dick and letting people fuck you." The voice seethed. "That's all you'll ever be good for." Troye whimpered. "Just a good fuck."

"I promise you, I'm not."

"Whatever."

"I love you."

Beep.

Troye cried himself to sleep that night.

×××

"You okay?" It was the first thing Tyler said to him that morning, eyes deep with concern.

Troye smiled thinly. "Yeah, of course." He walked over and took a seat next to his friend at the table.

Tyler looked him over, eyes studying him for a moment. "I heard you."

Troye's brows furrowed as he cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"I heard you crying." He paused,"You were talking to someone too." He sighed, hand reaching out to put a gently rub Troye's back. "You know you can talk to me."

Troye bit his lip, looking anywhere but at his best friend. How do you tell someone that one of the people you trust dearly was the one causing your pain?

The only person who will ever love you.

"Tilly, I'm okay." Troye took Tyler's hand into his own. "I promise you." Tyler let out a breath as his eyes searched Troye's. Eventually he rolled his eyes and ran a hand through Troye's hair playfully.

"Okay." He got up from the table, walking to the door of the kitchen. He paused before he left, turning around to look at Troye. "I'm always here for you." Then he left.


	6. Chapter Six

Troye was never a good liar. Whenever his mom would corner him and ask him for the truth, his face would always turn red and his voice would tremble and eventually she'd get him to tell her the truth.

Despite not being good at lying, he was good at hiding his emotions. He was just never good at opening up and letting someone in. His parents would always ask him to talk to them, to let them help him. But it was hard. He didn't like to feel vulnerable and he didn't like accepting help.

He was never good at standing up for himself either. He remembers that boy in the eighth grade who would always corner him whenever they were alone, words cutting him open like knives, hurting him more than fists ever could. Words always hurt him more.

He doesn't like to talk about Andrew. Whenever his parents would ask him about it, he'd always let out a soft laugh and say that they were just friends; and sometimes he'd find himself in his room crying because he wishes that they never met but at the same time he hopes that they won't lose what they have. Because who would ever put up with him? Who would deal with the strain of a long distance relationship while he lives his dreams?

Who would love him?

And his heart was so confused and it ached for an answer. An answer to what love really was.

×××

Troye was stressed. The whole reason he had flown out to LA was to discuss tour dates and where he'd be visiting. It was such an amazing feeling knowing that he'd be able to see his fans in the flesh. He's going to be able to hear them scream his lyrics and see their cute little faces. He was happy.

He tries to tell himself that it's not because he won't be able to see Andrew as much.

"Boo!" A playful voice whispered in his ear, soft hands grabbing his arms. Troye jumped and put his hands up to cover his face, body trembling. The voice giggled, making Troye peak from behind his hands to look at the friendly face. Connor frowned, eyes going soft and laugher dying down when he saw the trembles going through Troye's body. He put a gentle hand on Troye's arm, making his tense body relax. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you." He reassured, voice soft and quiet. "I would never."

Troye swallowed the lump in his throat, nodding his head slowly. "I know." His voice trembled. "You just scared me, that's all." Connor raked his eyes over him, they made Troye feel naked under his gaze. Like everything was out in the open for him to see. Even if he did tell Connor about Andrew, he wouldn't care.

Because who would care.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked gently, hoping he'll get him to talk.

"Yeah, of course." Troye smiled reassuringly at Connor, praying that he'll let it go and stop pestering him.

But nothing gets past Connor.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." Connor stated, sitting down on the couch and looking up at Troye expectedly.

Troye cleared his throat, eyes nervously avoiding Connor's gaze. "Now?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Troye sat down next to Connor, eyes staring down into his lap. "What's up?"

"You've been lying to me."

Troye looked up quickly, eyes widening and heart racing. "Why do you think that?"

Connor sighed, shaking his head slightly. He opened his mouth, but closed it and sighed loudly. "Yesterday." Connor's voice trembled. "You said that those bruises were from playing around with Tyde." Troye nodded his head slowly.

"Yeah, they were. I told you I hit myself wi-"

"A table." Connor interuppted. "But then I asked again and you said a doorknob." Troye swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"The fucking truth, Troye!" Connor yelled, standing up from the couch and pacing the room. "Why are you lying to me? We've always been honest with each other." Connor's face was red, hands trembling and eyes bloodshot. Troye shivered. "You've changed so much since the last time I saw you. You're not you and that's scaring me. I don't even know who you are anymore." Connor turned to look at Troye, eyes softening. "Don't cry."

Tears were rolling down Troye's porcelain face, lip quivering as he sobbed quietly into his hands. His body was shaking as he curled in on himself. "I'm sorry."

Connor kneeled down on front of him, hands gently tugging at his thin arms covering his face. "Tell me what's going on." He managed to uncover Troye's face, softly gripping onto his cold and clammy hands. "Is someone hurting you?"

Troye shook his head quickly, making Connor flinch when he let out a loud sob.

"Troye, tell me the truth. So help me God, if someone is hurting you-"

"I don't want to talk about it."

So they didn't.


	7. Chapter Seven

His flight to go back home was tomorrow.

Having only spent a week in LA, it was still the best week of his life.

He tried to tell himself it wasn't because he was away from Andrew. He loved him.

×××

"Come back to Perth with me." Troye whined, nuzzling his face into Connor's neck. Connor sighed sadly, gently rubbing his hands down Troye's back.

"I would if I could, you know that." Connor paused, pushing his nose into his soft curly hair. "I have to work."

Troye pouted, eyes tearing up at what was waiting for him at home. His lip wobbled and he let out a soft sniffle. "I'm going to miss you."

"Hey." Connor frowned, bending down a little to catch his eyes. "Why are you being this way?" Troye shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. Connor watched him closely. "You'd tell me if something was going on at home, right?" He asked softly.

Troye pulled away from Connor, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand and smiling softly. "Everything is fine." He sniffled, rubbing at his eyes roughly. 'I'm just going to miss you."

Connor's eyes softened, a small smile spreading onto his face. "Come here." He raised his arms, motioning for Troye to fall into them. Troye collapsed, burying his face into his neck while taking deep breaths. "I'll come visit you, you know that." Connor shushed him softly, running his fingers down his spine. "You need to go see your family. You've been working too hard, Tro." Connor pulled away to look at him. "I don't want you making yourself sick."

"I love you."

Connor smiled sadly, gently brushing a strand of hair from his face. "I love you too." Connor's eyes widened when he felt a soft pair of lips press onto his own. He closed his eyes and tightly gripped Troye's hips, squeezing when he felt Troye's arms wrap around his neck.

Connor's eyes shot open when Troye abruptly pulled away and jumped up, fingers lightly touching his lips as he paced back and forth. "I'm sorry."

Connor frowned, shaking his head and standing up. "What are you talking about?" He slowly approached him, hands softly gripping Troye's. "I've been dying to do that." Connor laughed quietly, but Troye didn't smile.

"Andrew." Troye whimpered, tears falling down his rosy cheeks as his lips quivered. "Andrew."

"Who's Andrew?" Connor asked, moving to wipe the tears from his cheeks. Troye shook his head quickly, pushing Connor away as he kept muttering that name. "Troye calm down."

"He's going to kill me!" Troye shouted, letting out a loud sob as he fell to the floor, body shaking as he cried out that name.

All Connor could do was watch.


	8. Chapter Eight

Troye's eyes scanned the room for more of his belongings as he closed up his suitcase. He groaned loudly when it wouldn't shut, and climbed on top to sit on it. He bounced on it a couple of times and tried to zip it up, whining when the zipper wouldn't budge.

 

There was a loud laugh at the doorway that startled him. He looked up and blushed when his eyes met Tyler's. Troye scratched the back of his head and looked down. "Need help?" Tyler raised an eyebrow as Troye nodded.

 

Tyler laughed again and walked over, successfully getting it to zip after a couple of attempts. Troye climbed off of the suitcase, letting out a breath.

 

"Thank you, Ty." Troye looked up at him. "For everything." Tyler shook his head and sat on the floor of the room.

 

"You don't have to thank me, you know I love having you here." Tyler's expression turned serious as he patted the spot next to him on the floor. Troye sat down next to him, giving him all of his attention. "Ever since you came back you've been acting different." Troye frowned and tilted his head slightly.

 

"No I haven-"

 

"Let me talk." Tyler interrupted. "Please." Troye sighed loudly and nodded his head. "I don't know what's going on back home and I don't know who you have in your life at the moment. If you would actually pick up the phone when I called you then maybe I'd know." Tyler glared at him as Troye looked down. "I know you don't like these serious conversations but I just wanted you to know that I'm always here." Tyler's eyes softened. "Whenever you need to get away, my apartment is yours."

 

Troye blinked away tears and he smiled gratefully. "Thank you so much, Tilly." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I wish I could tell you- trust me I do. Just know I'm okay." He frowned as the tears spilled over. "I'm going to miss you."

 

Tyler frowned. "Come here." He demanded softly as he reached his arms out for him. Troye burrowed himself into his neck and clung onto him tightly. "I'll go and visit you as soon as I can." Troye looked up with big shining eyes.

 

"Connor too?" He asked softly.

 

Tyler rolled his eyes playfully. "Yes, Connor too."

 

"I'd like that." They shared a smile.

 

"Ready to go?" Both of their heads turned to the door, eyes meeting Connor's. He smiled softly at their position. Troye pulled away and wiped his eyes one last time.

 

"Yeah, you're going to have to help me with my suitcase though." He laughed quietly. "It's heavy as fuck."

 

×××

 

"Are you hungry?" Connor asked after they checked in his suitcase.

 

"Fuck yeah." Troye responded when his stomach growled loudly, making Connor throw his head back and laugh. Connor looked around the airport for any restaurants to eat at. His eyes lit up when they found a nearby Subway.

 

"Does Subway sound good?" Troye moaned at the thought and nodded his head quickly. Connor smiled softly at him and placed a hand on his lower back, leading him over to the area. He led him over to the seats and sat him down. "Same as always?"

 

Troye smiled up at him. "You know my order?"

 

"Of course." With that, Connor got in line to order their food.

 

Troye watched him, eyes sad as they took in the incredible human being. What did he do to deserve him? He didn't even want to leave. He wanted to stay in LA and never go back.

 

That thought scared him.

 

Connor walked over with their sandwiches and placed Troye's in front of him as he sat down. Troye thanked him quietly and opened his sandwhich, humming when the delicious smell filled his nose. He opened his eyes and blushed a pretty pink when he caught Connor looking at him with an unreadable expression. They stared at each other until Connor cleared his throat, taking a bite of his sandwhich.

 

"Shit, I was hungry." Connor hummed in appreciation.

 

Troye nodded in agreement, taking a bite of his own food. He looked up and giggled, making Connor look up quickly and furrow his eyebrows.

 

"What?" Troye laughed again, shaking his head.

 

"Nothing." He couldn't stop laughing as he looked at Connor, making the older boy laugh with him.

 

"What are you laughing at?" Connor whined, lips sticking out in a pout.

 

Troye looked at him for a second and then reached over and gently wiped something from the corner of his lips. Connor blushed when he saw the mayonnaise on Troye's thumb.

 

"You were going to leave it there?" Troye laughed and nodded his head. Connor glared playfully at him. "Cute." He deadpanned.

 

They sat there for thirty minutes sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally continuing with their playful banter, until they ate all of their food.

 

Troye checked the time on his phone. "I should probably start heading to my gate." He stated sadly, eyes unreadable.

 

"I'll throw this away." Connor gathered their trash and tossed it in the trashcan, walking back over as Troye stood up from the chair and gathered his belongings. As they started to walk to security, their fingers brushed softly. Connor's eyes widened in shock when Troye's fingers grasped his softly.

 

"Are you going to be okay?" Connor asked quietly as they stopped outside of security. Troye nodded his head and let go of Connor's hand. Connor's eyes scanned over his face as he reached his hand up to brush a stray curl away from Troye's forehead. "I don't want to let you go."

 

Troye sighed. "Connor, please-"

 

"No." Connor spoke firmly. His hands firmly grasped Troye's waist, roughly pulling him forward. Their lips collided, making Troye gasp in shock. He rested his hands on Connor's shoulders and hesitantly kissed back. Connor bit his lower lip gently, making Troye gasp again and soon their tongues were fighting for dominance. Troye tried to gain dominance over the kiss, but it was making him feel dizzy and weak so Connor won that battle. Connor hummed lowly in his throat and pulled Troye closer, pressing him flush against his chest. Soon they pulled away due to lack of air, their chests moving in sync as they panted heavily. Both of their eyes were shut tightly as they held onto each other.

 

"Leave him." He spoke so quietly Troye almost didn't hear him. Almost.

 

His eyes shot open and he pulled himself away. "Excuse me?"

 

"Leave him." Connor repeated, louder this time. "We both know he doesn't treat you right." Connor's face turned red and his eyes shined with tears. "We both know I can love you more." He laughed bitterly. "You know I love you." Troye stared at him. "Just say it."

 

"Say what?" Troye snapped.

 

Connor hesitated, asking himself if he really wanted to bring this up now; if this was really the right time.

 

But looking into Troye's eyes, those eyes that have been holding so much pain and fear behind them, he realized he had to. He had to bring it up now because Troye sure as hell wasn't going to talk about it anytime soon.

 

Connor lowered his voice slightly. "That he hurts you, Troye."

 

It was quiet, Connor's eyes pleading with Troye. Troye glared at him. "Goodbye Connor." Troye turned around to walk away only to be stopped by a firm hand on his arm.

 

"No, admit it." Connor's face was red with anger, veins showing in his neck as he looked Troye in the eye. "Goddammit! Say it!" He was yelling now, causing people around them to become silent and stare at them.

 

Troye flinched at the loud voice, tears running down his cheeks as he cowered away from Connor. "Fuck you." Troye spat, nostrils flaring and stomping away from the boy, leaving Connor standing there speechless.

 

×××

 

Troye opened the door to his and Andrew's apartment when he finally got home early that morning. He quietly shut the door behind him and set the keys down on the little table by the door. His body was drained from the flight and the events that took place before it. He shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. His eyes snapped open when the hallway lights suddenly turned on, revealing a sleepy Andrew.

 

"You're home." His voice was quiet and raspy with sleep.

 

Troye nodded his head and smiled tiredly. "Finally." Andrew laughed softly and walked forward, arms tight around Troye's waist and lips pressed roughly onto his. Troye shut his eyes tightly as he tried to forget about the feeling of Connor's lips on his. Andrew pulled away abruptly, nuzzling his nose into Troye's neck. He pulled away and his eyes hardened, making Troye cower away slightly. "What's wrong?"

 

"You smell like another man." Andrew growled. Troye took a step back as he stepped forward, crowding him into the wall. Troye's body began to shake violently as he shut his eyes tightly.

 

"I hugged them goodbye." Troye tried to explain, anything to make him less angry.

 

Andrew grabbed Troye's neck in a bruising grip. "Did you let them fuck you too?" He spat into his ear, lifting Troye up slightly by his neck.

 

Troye's hands gripped Andrew's as he tried to make him let go. He could feel the blood rushing to his head and tears started to spill from his eyes. "N-no pl-please let go." Andrew's grip became harder as Troye struggled for air. "I l-love you. Onl-only you." Andrew stared at him as his face began to turn a dark shade of purple. His grip loosened, but not before he slammed Troye's head against the wall, making him see black spots.

 

He finally let go and Troye collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath. Andrew spit on him before walking away. "Come to bed." He paused at the doorway, shooting Troye a glare. "Whore."

 

Troye broke down when he left, sobs escaping his throat as his hands gently touched his neck. Connor's words kept repeating over and over in his head. Troye shook his head, tears and snot running down his face as he thought about those three words he was too afraid to admit. "He hurts me." Troye cried quietly into the silent house, resting his face on the floor. "He hurts me. He hurts me. He hurts me." He repeated over and over, as if maybe somebody would hear his cries.

 

But nobody was there to hear him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was long, huh? Hope you liked it! There's so much more to this.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NON CONSENSUAL ACTIONS

Despite the bruises that started to show up on Troye's body and the nights spent of Andrew yelling at him and calling him insults, Troye always told himself.

 

_He loves me._

 

Despite the holes in the walls from angry fists getting thrown into them and the blood stains on the carpet and the shattered mirror in their room from when Andrew slammed Troye's head into it, Troye always told himself.

 

_He has to love me._

 

Sure, he wasn’t the most handsome boy in the world; and yeah, maybe he hasn’t grown since he was thirteen. He couldn’t give Andrew the world and he’s still trying to make a life for himself. _But he can love with all of his heart_ and he can make sure that the people in his life knew that. He can dedicate his life to Andrew and he can love him with all that his little body can offer.

 

He didn’t feel like enough.

 

×××

 

Troye needed someone to talk to because it was all starting to pile up inside of him and he didn’t know what to do. He would talk to Andrew but they barely talk anymore. He wanted to call Tyler but he didn’t want to bother him with his _pathetic_ problems.

 

He wanted, _with all of his heart_ , to call Connor. But as he was dialing his number, he couldn’t help but begin to cry. So he called the one person he knew he could always count on.

 

“Tokkie!”

 

He smiled softly at the voice on the other end of the receiver. “Hi, mum.” He bit back the tears that began to burn his eyes and cleared his throat slightly.

 

“We were beginning to think you forgot about us.” She laughed quietly, and he made sure to remember that sound and tuck it somewhere in his heart so he can remember it on days he couldn’t laugh himself. “We all miss you so much.”

 

Troye took a shaky breath. “I miss you all too.”

 

“The kids will love to hear from you, baby. Let me get them.” He heard rustling and voices talking on the other end. “Sage! Tyde! Come talk to your brother!”

 

“Troye?” Two voices exclaimed in unison. His heart felt heavy when he heard them, when he pictured the smiles that were on their faces.

 

“You’re on speaker.”

 

“Hi, guys.” Troye spoke softly. “I miss you.”

 

“We miss you too, Tokkie.” Sage replied. “I need my little cuddle buddy back.” Troye laughed softly.

 

“How are you, Troye?” Tyde asked. “How’s living with Andrew?”

 

“It’s-“ He took a deep breath. “It’s going really well.” His voice sounded strained.

 

It was quiet on the other end. “Talk to us, baby.” Sage spoke quietly. “We’re here for you.”

 

“I know.” His voice got squeakier as the tears began to run down his cheeks.

 

“Let me talk to Troye.” His mum demanded, making them groan and yell their ‘I love yous' before he was left with his mum. “What’s going on?"

 

“I don’t know.” He rubbed his eyes roughly with his hand. “I don’t know if he still loves me.” He sobbed loudly. Laurelle cooed on the other end.

 

“Baby, anyone would be crazy not to love you.” She soothed.

 

He rolled his eyes. “I just don’t feel like enough.” He whispered. “It’s gotten so tense around here and I hate it.”

 

She sighed sadly. “When it gets to be too much, come over here. No matter what happens, don’t ever feel like you don’t have a place to go.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Couples fight, Tok. If you two really loved each other you’ll always find a way to work it out.”

 

“I love you.”

 

×××

Troye's eyes snapped open when he felt the bed dip behind him. He groaned and turned around slightly. “You’re home late.” He heard Andrew let out an irritated breath.

 

“Am I under interrogation?” He snapped, making Troye flinch and shy away from his touch. He shook his head slightly, flinching when strong arms wrapped tightly around his waist. He hissed quietly when they pressed on a bruise.

 

“Don’t hold to tight.”

 

“Shut the fuck up and stop complaining.” Troye blinked away the tears in his eyes and tried to block out the pain.

 

_He wasn't Connor._

 

“I'm sorry.” It was quiet for a few moments. He felt Andrew's arms slide lower on his body. He gasped when he felt lips attach onto the back of his neck. He squirmed away. “Not tonight.” The movements stopped, until Andrew placed tangled his hand into his hair and pulled roughly. Troye cried out and Andrew bit harshly into the skin of his neck, definitely breaking the skin and drawing blood.

 

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.” He whispered into his ear. He pinned Troye’s body beneath his, making Troye panic. Andrew smashed his lips roughly onto Troye's, swallowing his cries with his tongue. Troye tried to push him off but he was too strong.

 

_Troye wasn’t strong._

 

“Andrew, please stop.” Troye begged; but his cries were useless. Andrew started to unbutton his jeans, roughly yanking them off of his legs and throwing them to the side. Troye was sobbing loudly, body shaking with fear.

 

“Shut the fuck up!” Troye flinched and moved a hand to cover his mouth, silencing his cries. He whimpered when he felt cold fingers poke at his entrance. He cried out in pain when two of Andrew's fingers roughly entered him without lube. He bit his lip roughly as Andrew whispered in his ear.

 

“It hurts.” He whimpered weakly. He sobbed loudly when he came a couple of minutes later when Andrew's fingers brushed up against his prostate.

 

“You’re a slut.” Andrew spat, moving to take off his own pants. Troye stood lying down lifelessly, body shaking and mind ashamed. ‘It’s all you’ll ever be.” He felt Andrew lay down next to him, and soon he heard the quiet snores that came from the boy. Troye curled himself up and moved as far away from Andrew as possible, covering his mouth with his hand to silence his sobs and whimpers.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING | RAPE

Troye didn’t recognize himself in the mirror the next morning.

  
He felt so ashamed, so _dirty_. He didn’t look like himself. Now that he finally looked really close to his reflection, the boy looking back at him wasn’t happy. The boy looking back at him had sunken, tired eyes. The boy looking back at him had a busted lip and a bruised eye. His hair was brittle and dull. His cheeks were sucked in. He had dark bruises on his neck, reminding him of the night before. The boy looking back at him wasn’t a boy anymore.

 

_He let himself down._

 

Troye looked at himself one last time before leaving the bathroom, making his way to the kitchen. He found Andrew leaning against the counter, a cup of coffee in his hand.

 

“Goodmorning.” Troye muttered quietly. He opened the fridge and grimaced at the thought of food, feeling too sick to keep anything down.

 

Andrew walked over to him, pecking his cheek softly. “How did you sleep?” Troye looked at him, making Andrew's eyes widen when he caught site of the dark bite mark on his neck. “Shit- Troye, did I do that?” He reached up to touch the mark, but his hand got slapped away by Troye's nimble fingers.

 

Troye's gaze was hard. “Yeah, just like you gave me this bruise.” He pointed to his own eye. “Just like you gave me this cut.” He lifted his shirt slightly to show the raw looking cut that was on his hip. “Jesus Christ, Andrew. You keep hurting me and hurting me. I’m tired of it.” Troye's voice was loud.

 

Andrew flinched and nodded his head. “I know I have my moments. But you have to believe me when I say I’m sorry.” Andrew placed his hands on Troye's hips. “I need you.” He kissed Troye's neck softly, right above the bite mark. “I love you.” He placed another soft kiss on the bruise under his eye.

 

Troye pushed him away. “How do I know it will be different this time?”

 

“Trust me, baby.” Troye sighed and placed his hands on Andrew's chest, letting him wrap his arms around his waist. “I’ll make it up to you tonight.”

 

* * *

 

 

From: Andrew <3

_Can’t wait to make it up to you tonight. Thank you for the second chance._

 

From: Andrew <3

  
_I love you xxx_

 

Troye was excited for tonight. _This_ was the Andrew he had fallen in love with.

 

He had already made dinner, wanting tonight to be as special as he can. He lit candles in their bedroom and bathroom and had a warm bath with bubbles ready.

 

To: Andrew <3

  
_Are you almost here?_

 

Troye sat on the couch, scratching his head slightly as he tried to keep his eyes open. He jumped when his phone vibrated against his thigh.

 

From: Andrew <3

  
_On my way_

 

Troye rested his head against the back of the couch, fighting consciousness and keeping his eyes open. He didn’t want to fall asleep. That wouldn’t be fair to Andrew.

 

 _“I'll just rest for a second.”_ He thought, closing his eyes and letting his breath even out.

 

* * *

 

 

Troye woke up when he felt his body being lifted up into familiar arms. He squinted his eyes open, looking up at Andrew. “Fuck- did I fall asleep.” Andrew smiled down at him, gently placing his body on their bed and stroking his hair back.

 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Andrew soothed. “I know you’re tired. Just go back to sleep.” He sat at the edge of the bed, soothingly running his fingers along Troye's arm.

 

“I'm sorry, babe.” Troye mumbled sleepily, only to get shushed.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time Troye woke up, his arms felt heavy and he couldn’t move them. He opened his eyes and looked up, pulling at the restraints on his arms. His breathing picked up and he tried to move his body, only to be stopped by the restraint that was tied around his middle, pinning him to the bed.

 

“He's all yours.” He looked up and saw Andrew and another man he had never seen before at the doorway of the room, the man placing something in Andrew’s hand.

 

“Andrew?” Troye called out, eyes widening when the man started to walk closer to him. “Andrew!”

 

“Shh, baby.” The man shushed, placing a beefy hand on his cheek. “You’re mine tonight.” Troye met Andrew's eyes in confusion, screaming when he began to exit the room and closed the door behind him. The man’s hand began to go lower as he climbed onto the bed, placing himself on top of Troye.

 

“ANDREW!” Troye screamed at the top of his lungs, thrashing his body around as much as the restraints would let him. He yelped when the man forcefully placed his lips on Troye's and shoved his hand into Troye's jeans. After a while, Troye's body felt numb and he stopped his fighting.

 

It was painful. Troye's voice was beginning to get raspy from screaming Andrew's name continuously. He started to sob when the man took his underwear off and placed himself in between Troye's legs. When the man shoved into him, _Troye started to scream for Connor._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, loves. Connor is coming soon.


	11. Chapter Eleven

_Pain_.

 

It was all Troye could feel throughout his body. He felt disgusting and _used_ but most of all, he felt pain. The morning sun was shining through the window, illuminating the room with light. The man that was lying next to him groaned abruptly, making Troye flinch as his grip around Troye tightened. Troye’s body tensed and he closed his eyes tightly. He felt a kiss being placed on his neck.

 

“I know you’re awake, sexy.” The older man purred. Troye hesitantly opened his eyes but avoided his gaze. The man grunted, and nipped harshly at Troye's neck, making him whimper loudly. “Let me see that little body.” He yanked the sheet away from Troye and kissed down his neck, sucking bruises onto his heaving chest.

 

“No more.” Troye whimpered quietly. “ _Please_.”

 

The man chuckled and sunk his teeth harder into his chest. “Your time is up, Nick.” Both Troye and the man looked up to the doorway, Andrew leaning against it tiredly. “Time to go.” The man, _Nick_ , groaned loudly and heaved himself off of Troye, but not without roughly cupping his cheek.

 

“See you around, _sexy_.” He whispered, Troye’s body shivering in disgust. Nick walked over to Andrew and looked back at Troye. “He was worth the money.” He winked at Troye and clasped Andrew on the shoulder before leaving the room.

 

“You _asshole_.” Troye seethed, tears shining his eyes. “What the _fuck_ were you thinking?” Troye roughly pulled his hands against the restraints. Andrew walked over and untied his body. Troye sighed in relief when his limbs were finally free. They were sore from being tied in one place all night, and he had red welts on his wrists from pulling on it all night.

 

Andrew wrapped his hand around Troye's neck when he started to get off the bed and slammed him back down. “I made money.” Andrew spit out.

 

“ _Using my body_!” Troye screamed, he tried to get Andrew to let go of him but he just held on tighter.

 

“I bet you liked having his cock in you.” Andrew seethed quietly. “You slut.” He let go of his neck. “Don’t ever talk to me like that again.”

 

“I thought you loved me.” Troye cried from the bed. “This is not how people in love treat each other, Andrew.” Andrew looked over at him.

 

“If you really loved me, you’d help me make this money.” He walked out the room, but not before calling out, “There’s another man coming tonight.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Connor.” Troye breathed his name out in relief. Seeing those gentle, kind green eyes and genuine smile was something he was looking forward to.

 

Connor's eyes softened. “Hey, Tro.” Connor's eyes scanned his body from the other side of the screen. His eyes widened when they caught sight of the bruises littering his neck and on his face. “What did he do to you?” He growled.

 

Troye swallowed the lump in his throat. “I know I've been a dick and you tried to help me before but-" He took a stuttering breath. "I need you.” Connor straightened up at those words, eyes concerned as he nodded his head.

 

“I’ll be on the first flight out there.” He picked up his phone, already searching for the next flight out to Australia.

 

Troye flinched when he heard the bedroom door open, making Connor look up from his phone. Troye turned to see Andrew standing at the doorway with another nameless man. This man was much older than the one from the night before. Troye didn’t know if his body could take any more.

 

Andrew cleared his throat and glared at the laptop screen. “Troye, someone is here to see you.” He fixed a hard gaze at Troye as the other man looked Troye up and down, licking his lips.

 

“I’ll be done in a second.” Troye gulped and waited for Andrew’s nod of approval.

 

“Hurry up.” He snapped and walked out of the room. The other man lingered at the door, eyes fixed on Troye's body.

 

“You are beautiful.” He purred. “Worth the price.” Troye felt like throwing up, having to swallow the bile that was traveling up his throat. The man followed Andrew back out.

 

“Troye, who the fuck was that?” Connor’s voice was frantic. Troye turned back to the screen to see Connor already shoving whatever he could into his suitcase.

 

“I don’t know, Con.” Tears started to fall from his fearful eyes. “Please just get here.”

 

Connor stopped what he was doing. “ _Babe_.” Connor cooed, eyes soft and concerned. “What was that man doing there?”

 

“He-“ Troye took a breath, body shaking. “He’s been using me to make money.” Connor frowned in confusion. “I didn’t know men would actually pay money for my body.” Troye shook his head and wrapped his arms around himself.

 

“What?” Connor seethed, his face was red and eyes livid. “That fucking _pig_.” Connor hid his face in his hands and shook his head.

 

Troye sobbed quietly. “Please don’t think differently of me.” Troye cried. “I don’t want it. I promise I don’t want it. But he won’t listen to me.” Troye wiped his eyes with the paws of his sweatshirt and shook his head. “I am dirty. No one will want me.”

 

Connor looked up at that. “No, Troye. You are not dirty, you are beautiful; so amazingly beautiful. He doesn’t deserve you, you hear me?” Troye nodded his head, shutting his eyes tightly. “I’ve wanted you for so long, baby. You know that. This doesn’t change anything.” Connor's voice was soothing. “You deserve so much more than this. I am never going to let this happen to you again.”

 

“I love you, Connor.”

 

Connor fought back his own tears at the sound of his distressed voice. “I love you too, Tro. _Always_.” He quickly wiped a tear that fell from his own eyes. “Stay safe until I get there, okay?” Troye nodded his head. “Troye, look at me.” Troye slowly looked up and met his eyes. “You’re going to be okay.”

 

“I’m on my way.”

 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Whispers by Dave Baxter the whole time I was writing this, so I suggest you listen to it. It's such a beautiful song and it really put me in the mood.

When Connor arrived at the airport in Australia, he unbuckled his seatbelt quickly and stood up before anyone else could. He gathered his carry on bag and weaved himself through the passengers to get to the front of the plane. He waited impatiently for them to open the cabin door.

 

“You look like you’re about to see someone special.” A lady’s voice piped up from beside him. He turned to look at the older woman, smiling softly at her.

 

“Yeah, they’re pretty special.” He blushed when the words left his mouth.

 

The lady chuckled quietly. “That’s how I used to be when I would come back from trips to my husband.” A reminiscing smile took over her features. Connor's heart fluttered at the word husband. “Have a nice one.” Connor thanked her quietly and walked off the plane. He walked quickly through the airport, picking up his pace when he arrived at the waiting area. His eyes scanned the room, searching for the boy who needed him most right now.

 

“Connor.” A voice called out, making his head turn to the direction it was coming from. His eyes landed on Troye, who was smiling with such a relieved look on his face. He was wearing a black hoodie, the hood covering the top of his head. He wore dark blue skinny jeans and his Adidas sneakers. His shoulders were slumped and his body was turned inward on himself.

 

“Come ‘ere.” Troye let out a breath as Connor dropped his carry on and opened his arms to catch the boy. Troye collapsed in his arms, body shaking when Connor's arms wrapped around him. Connor shushed his whimpers, rocking them side to side. “It’s okay.” Connor whispered quietly so only Troye could hear. “You’re okay.”

 

“He hurts me.” Troye mumbled quietly. Connor's body tensed, this being the first time he heard the words leave Troye’s mouth. “He hurts me.”

 

Connor fought back his own tears and rested his cheek on top of Troye's head. “Not anymore.” He tightened his hold on the boy protectively. “You’re not his anymore.” Troye pulled away and looked up, blue eyes wide with unshed tears.

 

“Am I yours?” He asked quietly. Connor's breath caught in his throat as he looked at the beautiful boy in front of him. He reached up to pull his hood down, eyes glancing at the bruises littering his neck. He rested a firm hand there, thumb rubbing his jawline. Troye closed his eyes and leaned into his touch, knowing that he didn’t have to be afraid of Connor.

 

_Connor was safe._

 

“Always.” Connor stated simply. He looked into Troye's eyes; looking into the never ending depths of sadness and pain that he caused. His eyes told a story and his body was the picture to accompany it.

 

Troye looked down and played with the bottom of Connor's shirt. “I won’t be ready for a while.” He wiped his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. “I need some time. He kind of fucked up my head.” He laughed wetly, frowning and not looking up. Connor gazed at him with soft, gentle eyes. He gently lifted Troye's chin so he could meet his eyes.

 

“I know.” He placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “But I’ll wait,” he moved a stray curl from his forehead, “as long as you need me to.”

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re just going to go in, quickly, gather all of your things and leave.” Connor explained to Troye for the third time. They were parked outside of Troye and Andr- Andrew's apartment.

 

“You’re coming too, right?” Troye asked shakily.

 

Connor laughed humorlessly. “Is that even a question?” With that he opened the car door and got out, running to the other side to help Troye open his. He grabbed Troye’s hand, closing the car door and leaning him up against it. Troye looked pale and weak, barely able to stand on his own shaky legs. “Hey, look at me.” Troye's breath started to speed up. “ _Angel_.”

 

Troye's eyes snapped up to meet Connor's. “I’m scared, Con.”

 

“He can’t hurt you.” Connor shook his head and tensed his jaw. “I won’t let him.” Troye nodded his head and stepped away from the car, balancing his shaky legs by holding onto Connor's shoulder. They walked to the entrance of the apartment complex, Connor holding the door open for Troye and letting him lead the way to the apartment. When they got there Troye leaned against the wall next to the door. He took a deep breath and reached for the keys in his pocket. It took him a few tries to get the key in the keyhole because his hands were shaking. Once he got the key in, Connor threw him an encouraging smile and he turned the lock.

 

“Where the fuck have you been?” A loud voice asked from the kitchen. “Did I say you could leav-“ Andrew appeared at the doorway, having stopped talking once he caught sight of Connor standing close to Troye. His eyes glanced down to the firm hand Connor had on Troye’s lower back. “What the fuck is this?” Troye cowered away at his harsh tone, Connor stepping up to shield him slightly.

 

“He’s here to pick up his stuff.” Connor spoke firmly. Andrew looked at Troye and sneered, shooting Connor a cold glare.

 

“I think he can speak for himself.” Andrew snapped. “Baby, what is he talking about?” Troye looked anywhere but at Andrew, making him grow impatient. “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

 

“Don’t talk to him like that!” Connor growled, walking up to Andrew until they were standing face to face. Troye whimpered and placed a hand on Connor's arm, pulling him away from Andrew.

 

“Connor, please.” Troye begged quietly. “It’s okay.” Connor shot Andrew a glare before he looked at Troye, eyes softening when he met his blue eyes. Troye smiled at him softly and turned to Andrew. “I-I'm leaving you.” It was quiet.

 

“What?” He was at a loss for words. “You can’t leave me, Troye. You need me.” Troye shook his head, walking past Andrew hesitantly to their room. Andrew followed him, with Connor closely behind.

 

“I can’t deal with this anymore.” Troye spoke sadly, grabbing a duffel bag and shoving whatever he could find into it. “You hurt me.”

 

Andrew scoffed. “Not the first time.”

 

Troye walked over to him. “Exactly! Not the first time and it would definitely not be the last.” Andrew balled his hands into fists, face turning red with anger. Connor watched them closely, stance alert so he could step in whenever he needed to. “You’re lucky I’m not pressing charges.” Troye turned back to his duffel, grabbing a few last things before zipping it up.

 

“Let’s go, Tro.” Connor grabbed the bag and gently grabbed Troye's wrist, pulling him along. Andrew’s body tensed at the nickname.

 

“We're done, Andrew.” Andrew growled, hand roughly grabbing Troye's upper arm and yanking him back.

 

“Don’t walk away from me.” He yanked harder than he thought, causing Troye to fight his grip and lose his footing. His body swayed and he fell, head hitting the corner of the dresser. He fell to the floor, his body not moving.

 

Connor watched with wide eyes, dropping the bag and running to him. “TROYE!” Connor bent down and gently cupped his head, hands stained red when he pulled them away.

 

_There was so much blood._

 

Andrew backed himself into a wall in shock, hands trembling. “I- I didn’t mean to.” He watched the unconscious boy.

 

Connor sobbed. “Call a damn ambulance!” Connor screamed, snapping Andrew out of his shock as he scrambled to find his phone. “Troye, wake up.” Connor shook him gently. “Baby, you’re okay, please wake up.” He watched him closely, waiting for the flutter of his eye, the twitch of a finger, _anything_.

 

In the distance he could hear Andrew talking frantically to the police on the phone. Connor leaned his head on Troye's chest, frowning when he didn’t feel his chest move from breathing. He shot his head up and placed a finger under Troye's nose, eyes wide when he again felt nothing.

 

“He’s not breathing.” He sobbed loudly, making Andrew's own eyes widen and drop the phone. “He’s not breathing.” He repeated, handing hovering above Troye’s body.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

“This is all your fucking fault.” Connor growled, body tense as his face began to grow red. From the Connor of his eye he saw Andrew also tense, body going rigid at his words.

 

  
“I didn’t mean to.” Andrew's voice was low, dangerous.

 

  
Connor bit his lip harshly, body shooting up from the waiting room chair to pin Andrew against the wall. Silence filled the room, families eyes growing wide at the exchange of the two. “Like you didn’t mean to fucking hit him?” Andrew pushed Connor off of him, pushing him to the floor and holding his body down.

 

  
“He deserved it!”

 

  
“No one deserves to get hit!” Connor shoved the body off of him, standing up and glaring at the man. “He never deserved it.” His voice was quiet, fragile. “Just do us both a favor and leave.”

 

  
Andrew furrowed his brows and stood up as well. “I’m his boyfriend, you have no right to tell me to leave.” He walked closer to Connor. “Why are you even here?”

 

  
“He’s not yours anymore, get that through your thick fucking skull.” Connor jabbed a harsh finger against his chest. “All you’ve done is hurt him.”

 

  
“Oh yeah?” Andrew's nostrils flared. “What have you done for him?”

 

  
“I love him.”

 

×××

 

_“The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of a church.”_

 

  
Connor remembers hearing someone say that once, never really putting much mind to it. But now, sitting in this hospital chair for hours, watching all of the tears shed from families waiting for news of their loved ones, he understands. He’s watched doctors walk in and out of the waiting room, either delivering good news or bad news.

 

  
There’s been more bad news than there has been good news.

 

  
He’s seen more tears than he’s seen smiles and it was breaking him.

 

  
He has never prayed so much in his life.

 

  
There was a lady who wouldn’t stop crying. Her sobs were so loud it was piercing through Connor's heart. Then her sobs turned into whispers of prayer. Over and over, she’d recite the same prayer.

 

  
Connor joined her.

 

  
He got up from the chair he had been sitting in for hours and kneeled down in front of her. He grabbed her shaking hand and prayed. He cried with her as well, both hearts hurting for the same reason. He understood her pain. He stood with her and wouldn’t leave her side. He was there when the doctor came out to tell her that her son would be okay. He saw the pure look of relief on her face.

 

  
He was also there when the doctor told her that her son would never walk again.

 

  
Before she went in to see him, she had hugged Connor and said thank you so many times. She took his hands and said a prayer for Troye before leaving to see her son.

 

  
Connor knew Troye was not going to come out of this unscathed.

 

  
If he came out of this at all.

 

  
_There was so much blood._

 

  
Connor's head shot up when he heard a door open and loud footsteps. His eyes met the doctors own serene eyes, taking notice of the look of pity and sorrow in them. His posture had bad news written all over it. He walked closer and closer to Connor, eyes never leaving his. His eyes were tired, probably from having to keep giving bad news all night. Connor's heart was in his throat. The doctor stopped in the middle of the waiting room, picking up his clipboard before taking a shaky breath.

 

  
“Maia Evans?” Connor released a breath, resting his back against the chair. He watched a family of four get up and walk over to the doctor. He watched their faces fall and the tears gather in their eyes.

 

  
Another one lost.

 

  
“Troye Mellet?” Connor stood up quickly, peeking behind the large family to see another doctor standing close by. He walked over quickly, sending out one last prayer for his boy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
“He’s going to be okay.”

 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

“He’s going to be okay.”

 

Connor has never felt true relief until he heard those words; those five wonderful, reassuring words that he had been aching to hear.

 

But of course, every good thing comes with a catch.

 

“However, he refuses to speak.” Connor furrowed his brows, head spinning from the smell of hospital and sickness and death. It was all around him, suffocating him and holding him in its lifeless clutch. But nothing could ruin the relief he felt from hearing those words.

 

But he won’t speak.

 

“What do you mean? He won’t speak about what happened?” Connor asked frantically, voice raising a few octaves from the stress the hours have been.

 

“He won’t speak at all.” The doctor explained calmly, hands steady at his sides while talking to Connor. His voice was so smooth, trained from the countless times he’s had to deliver bad news.

 

Connor wonders if you could ever get used to it.

 

“It's called ‘Selective Mutism,’ it’s an anxiety disorder in which a person who is normally capable of speech does not speak in specific situations or to specific people.” His voice was way too calm explaining such a thing to Connor. He sighed as he saw Connor's eyes glaze over with an unexplainable emotion. “I suggest you get him someone to talk to.”

 

×××

 

“Hey, sweet boy.” Connor cooed softly as he entered the dull hospital room. Troye jumped slightly at the voice, blue eyes standing out vibrantly in the white room. He smiled sweetly, hand reaching up to give Connor a little wave, teeth barely peeking through his lips. Connor chuckled, walking over to the boy and sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

 

His eyes scanned over the frail boy, taking in the dark circles under his eyes and unruly curls adoring the top of his head. He let out a sad sigh when his eyes landed on the white bandages wrapped around his head. Troye's hand twitched slightly, fingers moving as if waiting to be held.

 

He always deserved to be held.

 

Connor gently laced his fingers with the pale ones of the beautiful boy he was so in love with. His thumb rubbed soothingly against his hand, soft green eyes holding the boys own serene blue. “How are you feeling?”

 

Troye lifted his other hand into a thumbs up, soft blue eyes crinkling at the sides from his smile. Connor leaned in and quickly kissed his thumb, earning himself a giggle from the beautiful boy. “Why aren’t you talking, babe?”

 

Troye's smile fell, eyes slowly looking down at the white hospital bed he was lying on. His fingers played with a loose thread coming out of the thin, itchy blanket covering his body.

 

“Are you scared?” Connor prodded gently, lips pouting slightly at the way Troye's chapped lips quivered slightly. “Because if you are you don’t have to be. I won’t let him ever hurt you again.”

 

Troye sat up carefully so he could lean over to rest his head against Connor's chest. Connor rested a gentle hand against the back of his head, cradling the boy to his chest. “I miss your voice.” Connor whispered, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Do you know what it felt like to not know whether the person you love more than anything in this world is going to be okay?” Troye picked his head up quickly, wide blue eyes staring up at Connor. “I love you.”

 

Connor looked down when he heard a quiet whimper, lips pressing against Troye’s forehead when he saw the tears running down his cheeks. “No, baby. Don’t cry.” Troye let out a sad noise, burying his face back into Connor's chest. “I’ve always loved you. I hope you know that.”

 

Troye pulled away slightly, lips softly pecking Connor's. Their noses rubbed together, lips ghosting over each other. “Am I yours?” His voice was so quiet, barely there, a weak and broken sound that filled Connor's heart.

 

“Always.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so short and sucky but I wanted to post something just so you guys know I haven't forgotten about this story, xx


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